COPYWRITING THAT HITS HARDER THAN THAT 2nd SCOOP OF PRE-WORKOUT
Copywriter. word magician.
secret weapon.
What I really want to be called is... your copywriter.
Converting copy isn’t just WORDs on a page
It’s a rebellious mix of strategy, sass and psychology that makes your dream clients stop scrolling, pay attention, and click that juicy little button.
While everyone else is out here writing “meh,” I’m over here crafting copy that turns heads, opens wallets, and sparks inbox confessions like: “Omg, your copy made me BUY without thinking twice!”
Yeah. That’s the goal.
NEED COPY FAST?
I move faster than a toddler with a Sharpie.
With my Quantum Copy Method™, I’ll whip up your website copy, email funnels, sales pages, or launch content in days—not months. (Because your business deserves momentum, not a six-month waitlist.)
You Bring the Vision. I’ll Bring the Words That Sell It.
✨ Websites that make people think, “Shut up and take my money.”
✨ Email funnels that slide into inboxes smoother than a DM from your ex (but with WAY better results).
✨ Sales pages that don’t scream “I’m trying to sell you something,” but still… sell the heck out of your thing.
Copy magic used by
"BUT CRYSTAL - WHAT'S THE INVESTMENT?"
IF YOU're asking that, you're thinking too small.
this isn't just copy.
It’s the words that’ll:
💸 Fill your programs.
💸 Book out your calendar.
💸 Sell your offers while you’re sipping lattes in Bali.
Investment? Custom-quoted because your business isn’t one-size-fits-all.
But I can promise this: It’ll cost less than bad copy that doesn’t convert.
No Pressure. No Awkward Pitches.
JUST US TALKING ABOUT HOW TO MAKE YOUR WORDS WORK HARDER THAN YOU DO.
WHY HIRE ME?
Besides the fact that I’m a 4x NYT Bestselling Ghostwriter with a knack for turning words into cash-generating confetti?
Because I:
🔥 Know how to make your voice louder, bolder, & unapologetically YOU.
🔥 Write copy that feels like a conversation, not a sales pitch.
🔥 Obsess over conversions like it’s my part-time hobby.
your copy's not just words.
It's sales in disguise.
Ready to ditch the “meh” and get some copy that actually works?
Book Your Call Now — because every day you wait, your dream clients are hiring someone else. (Ouch. That stings, doesn’t it? Let’s fix it.)
(because I know you’re tired of waiting to get your copy done!)
Crystalize (Ha!) Your Copy & Make Copy Your B*Tch!
Marketing Made Simple, Sassy, And Successful—In Just 5 Minutes A Week!
Tired of staring at a blank page and waiting for inspiration that never shows? Ready to turn your marketing from a chore into pure delight?
Welcome to Make Copy Your B*tch!—the no-nonsense, all-fun way to level up your marketing game. Get ready to receive a weekly dose of word magic straight to your inbox, designed to transform your business from “meh” to magical.
Why wait?
Sign up, and let’s make your copy work as hard as you do.
Quantum Copy Method
The Cheat Code For Copy That Converts… Instantly!
Tired of copy that falls flat? Ready to crack the code that makes your words not just talk, but sell? Welcome to the Quantum Copy Method—your secret weapon for writing copy that connects, captivates, and converts like magic.
Who is this for?
- Rule-Breakers & Game-Changers: Who know their audience deserves more than generic, boring copy.
- Copy Badasses: Ready to take your skills to the next level.
- Humans, Not Robots: AI is cool, but let’s be real—it can’t replicate the deep human connection that makes wallets open.
Why you need QCM
- WRITE LIKE A BOSS: Tap into the exact language your audience craves.
- CONNECT DEEPER: Craft copy that speaks straight to the heart (and the wallet).
- MAKE BANK: Convert casual visitors into raving customers effortlessly.
Plus, The Juicy Bonuses:
- Money Blocks? Gone. Unlock your earning potential with copy that commands cash.
- The Only Pitch You’ll Ever Need: Pitch perfect, every time—without the sleaze.
- AI Prompts That Print Money: Turn AI outputs into pure gold.
Let’s make your copy a converting, catalyzing, connecting machine.
No fluff, just results.
Copy magic used by
Copywriting Portfolio
Proof I Can Sling Sentences Together That Are Confetti Cannons of Joy (and Make You $$$)
You want words that pop, crackle, and convert? You’re in the right place. Here’s a peek at some rebellious brands, misfits, and magical humans whose copy I’ve sprinkled with fairy dust.
The EQ Code: A Simple Code for Complex Humans
Emily Jameson Coaching: Sacred & Sexual Sovereignty
Dr.Maya Shetreat: Plant Medicine Modernized
Claudia & Co. : Curated Event Planning & Design
Untapped Mastery: Mastering the Art of Business
Blake Zealer: Relationship Engineer & Sacred Sexuality Coach
Snakard Professional Development: Mindset Mastery
Trisha Condo: Psychic to the Psychics
Renata Souza: Personalized Wellness & Lifestyle Solutions
Aia June: Womb Trauma Massage Certification
Amavi Event Planning & Design
